


This Strange Effect

by gothkore



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Attempted Murder, Brief Character Death for Like Two Minutes, Drabble, Falling In Love, Heavy Angst, I Just Wanted To Write My THOUGHTS (not actual experiences!) about love and project on Lance, Inner Dialogue, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Love/Hate, M/M, Mental Anguish, Panic Attacks, Past Domestic Violence, Past Relationship(s), Philophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sorry Not Sorry, This Is Kinda Morbid, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:40:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothkore/pseuds/gothkore
Summary: Love? Love can kill you. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. He should know, he wears the mark on his neck as a reminder.





	This Strange Effect

**Author's Note:**

> I tend to have a lot of thoughts regarding love and the effect it has on people so like, I wrote some of the things I feel and think when I'm in love. And like, they're pretty deep and kinda dark but hey, we all have our own ways we're affected by the shit-fest that is love so... Yeah. What can you really do. (´∀`)
> 
> I just added some extra shit in there so it isn't... boring? No I wouldn't say boring. I don't know. Enjoy I suppose.

You've got this strange effect on me  
And I like it  
You make my world in white  
You make my darkness bright, oh yes  
You've got this strange effect on me  
And I like it, and I like it

 

And I like the way you kiss me  
Don't know if I should  
But this feeling it's love and I know it  
That's why I feel good

 

You make my world in white  
You make my darkness bright, oh yes  
You've got this strange effect on me  
And I like it, and I like it

 

•°•°•

There's a feeling settling deep in his stomach. Heavy like lead and light like helium, twisting and winding in his guts, making his hands clammy and his breath stutter short. Lance had felt like this once. A long time ago. He felt sick with delight and obsessively drunk on the thought of the person who made him feel like that. Like he could do anything in the world without a single care holding him back.

Its the sick, sad, delightfully, wonderful feeling of love and Lance is ready to vomit with the realization. Everyone loves and gets loved differently but for Lance its madness. Love has never been very friendly to him. Never made him happy; never made him smile, love to Lance was like doing cocaine. When the high hits its so very very good. You're all floaty and nervous with anxiety and youth, and you can't help but notice every little fucking thing about that person and ever little thing is darling and endearing to you. Right until your drop hits.

Right until you realize that this person doesn't notice your love for them. They don't see the love in your starry eyes as you face at them and they don't see the utter devotion on your face as you'd do anything for them. Anything to make them happy and its sick and raw, the feeling of devastation slamming into you as you realize they'll never love you.

You'll never be anything more than a stranger or a friend. And even upon realization it does nothing to curb the fact that you love them. You think about them until your pressing your face in the pillow with tears of desolation in your eyes and your nails biting savagely in your palms until it hurts. Not more than the heartache though. Never that. Lance knows your obsession just grows and grows until you've hit so rock bottom that you've got no choice but to move on or pine forever. It makes you pathetic but humans have always been a little pathetic on the matters regard the heart.

So now Lance sits here with the feeling of 'oh no. God, please no' making its way into his body like a long lost friend that maybe had never truly left and its terrifying. He can't do this. Lance can't fall again because he barely survived last time. He barely survived Lotor and his soft words and cruel touches. He-

He just can't.

He'll die this time. Lance knows he'll die because heartache is real. Your throat gets tight and your eyes sting with unshed tears and just holding it in truly makes your heart hurt and panic-inducing anxiety curl low in you stomach and just- no. He can't do this again but here he is staring at Keith with a stupid fucking lovestruck look on his face that he just knows he has and his breath is coming in fast rapid pants and his chest is heaving like a ran a damn marathon. Panic attack he thinks dumbly, trying his best to will it away and tear his eyes away from Keith's dumb ass soft smile that's doing strange things to his heart.

"Hah, hah, ha-hah" there's a hiccup in there of him struggling to breathe. Sweat is pouring off his temples and black is dotting at his vision like a rorschach test and- "Hunk" he gasp like a drowning man. Keith stops talking at fully looks at him with murky eyes that are full of nothing but concern and he doesn't want them. 'Don't look at me. I'm scared. So scared. Please don't make me fall in love with you.'

"Lance!?" Keith ask him sharply, moving like he's going to make a move to touch him and Lance shrinks away like a frightened child. Everything's just too much at one. He can't breathe yet there's so much air around him and his eyes sting and he's so scared and he doesn't want to fall in love again. Lotor hurt him so bad. Left cruel sharp bruises on him physically, mentally, and emotionally that were so bad that just the thought of love is enough to make him cower away. He's still one. A bruise. Its wrapped around his neck in the shape of the wire that Lotor used to wrap around his neck and its never really healed right. Not really. Leaving dark skin around his neck that's enough to make people stop, stare, and whisper.

Lance keeps it covered up with turtle necks and hippy scarves that sink him deeper into depression.

"Lance what's wrong!? Tell me what's wrong, please," Keith begs, all panicked and alarmed and Lance can't do anything but cry and gasp for breath as he gasp out a rough sounding: "Hunk. Get me Hunk." He's quick to comply but that's probably just because Keith's never seen him like this. Never seen Lance at his most vulnerable and its ironic because as much as it isn't his fault, it is. Keith made him fall in love with him and Lance can't help but adore and resent him all at the same time. "I'm calling him now Lance. Just- just stay with me okay? I can't lose you too. I can't lose my brother."

He's positively dying now. No air is getting in his lungs and Lance knows he's gonna pass out in like- now minutes. This is why he didn't want to fall in love. Its too dangerous, turns you into something you're not. Love can literally kill you and Lance knows because he's got the proof of it around his neck and the hospital bills from long ago when they had to put him on oxygen because he went brain dead for all but two minutes from Lotors ministrations.

And now-

And now he's gonna die from a broken heart. Or lack of air. Whichever one gets him first. And its all Keith's fault.

**Author's Note:**

> The story is based of the song 'This Strange Effect'. I like the Hooverphonic version and The Shacks version both cause they're both hella good. Though I'd say the Hooverphonic version fits the fic the best. Hence the lyrics and blah blah blah.
> 
> I'm kind of curious to see how love effects you guys so if ya want, comment that shit on down.


End file.
